i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
