He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
