i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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