youre lurking in front of me
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
