Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
