I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
