Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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