Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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