Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
