How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize