i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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