i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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