she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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