Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
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The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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