Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
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Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
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Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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