Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
