ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
