I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
