I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
