So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I will be naked everywhere
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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