My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
