Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
