hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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