we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
