We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
We just shotgunned beers for America
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
