sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
