let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
