If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
