Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
