i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
this is an emotional support booty call
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
