smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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