I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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