I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Come see our sink grown plant.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You ruined the universe
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
