The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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