I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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