jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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