LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
