I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
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Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
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He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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