I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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