Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
