my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
