Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
