whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize