Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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