We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
