when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
