but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
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it was like a zeppelin in a condom
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
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In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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