just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
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I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
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Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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