Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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