I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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