Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
