Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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