Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl