I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?