we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
