How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
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can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
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He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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