Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
