so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
it hurts more in the daytime
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
