You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
