If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I met the friendliest cop last night
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
