I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
