U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Bring me that man meat
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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