Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
