He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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