Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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