I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
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my being single is dangerous.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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